July 24^th – training camp…

“If the NFL Scouting Combine is a ‘wretched place’, then I guess training camp is a horrid place.  I don’t know, maybe its not that bad – but it certainly does make for a better story.

Anyway, I arrived in Albany, NY for training camp on Wednesday, July 23^rd, the day before we had to report.  I had heard so much about ‘camp’ I actually didn’t really know what to expect – some guys said, “it’ll be the worst month of your life,” while others claimed, ‘ah, it’s not that bad.’  I was very excited though, I mean this is it…the N – F – L…the New York Giants, the Super Bowl Champs!! How could you not be pumped?

So I checked into my luxury dorm room – where I’d be sharing a cubicle with a fellow player (i.e., Neanderthal) and 1 bathroom for 5 guys (i.e., cavemen).  Needless to say, I remember walking in my box of a room, looking at my mat of a bed and thinking ‘I have to sleep in that for 4 weeks? This is worse than the mission!!’  No, really though – you’re gonna take Million-dollar bodies, some multi-million, and put them in $50 mattresses…for 4 weeks…the 4 most physically tolling and grueling weeks of their year!?!.  I know, I know – it doesn’t make sense, right? Not unless you’re an NFL head coach, or a GM – ‘we gotta toughen these guys up…they gotta come together at camp…make em appreciate how nice they have it…Team First!’  Yeah, well I’m all for that jazz – but isn’t there a Marriot down the street…or at least a Motel 6?!

[note of interest: Everyone stays in these same dorm rooms: All the players (even Eli), the trainers, equipment personnel, coaches…everybody but 2 people (who I hope aren’t reading this blog, if you are – sorry)…the head coach, and the GM…umm yeah – they’re at that Marriot down the street…anyway, can ya blame em?]

A typical training camp day is just like that Rookie camp I explained before – only this lasts for 4 weeks.  Wake up between 6:30 and 7:00, meetings and practice seriously ALL day, some days have a 2 hour break there in the middle, but always get out of your last meeting at 9:30 at night – just in time to go home, call family or friends if you can, study your play book for the next day’s installment, and go to sleep and start over again.  Yeah, it gets really repetitive after about…oh, say 4 or 5 days.  It lasts for 4 weeks.  Oh, and in case you forgot – you body feels like death, you’re sleeping on cardboard (wet cardboard if you’re a rookie – I’ll explain later), you’re roommate probably snores, and you’ve seen outhouses more sanitary than your bathroom.

Now to the rookies.  In this regard, I really can’t complain – I’ve heard of far worse than we got.  But I’ll still complain a little bit.  Basically, the vets got hazed their rookie year, it pissed them off, so now they feel it their “duty” to keep the “tradition” going on.  Anyway, here are some things the Giants do: rookies carry the Veterans pads and helmets off the practice field.  This may not seem like much – but trust me, when you just got hammered in a 2-hour NFL practice, it’s 85 degrees with 80% humidity, your body is beat and tired – the last thing you want to do is carry 3 helmets and shoulder pads off the field.  But you do it anyway – cuz if you don’t – trust me, something worse will happen (involving the cold tub and tape…or your car keys, and your car not being where it was when you parked it…or etc, etc).  Rookies have to sing at all the meetings.  So about 8 minutes before each meeting starts (you arrive 10 minutes early – cuz if you arrive on time, you’re already late – and you get fined $1600) the veterans start tapping their cups, pick out a poor, timid, helpless rookie, and start chanting his name.  That rookie must stand on his chair, state his name, school and signing bonus (to which they always whistle and ‘oooh’ – whether its “4 mil”, or “14 thousand”), then sing, loud and clear, a song of their choice, but not their school fight song (a couple of us tried that in Mini Camp in May – ended up with completely purple hands and feet for 5 days).  Now, at this point you might think to shirk, back down, or refuse…but then you run the risk of being dyed purple…that and all 6’4” 268 pounds of RB Brandon Jacobs stands up and with his deepest, most intimidating brute of a voice I’ve ever heard starts chanting ‘cold tub, cold tub, cold tub.’  Then 280 pounds of DE Justin Tuck yells ‘oh, you gonna get involved!!’  So you sing…you sound absolutely terrible, but you sing, you get it over with, for today at least, and you sit down…and hope they don’t boo, and chant “cold tub” yet again.  So this occurs several times a day – and the worse the singer, the more they get requested to sing.  Here’s another rookie haze: have you ever slept in a wet bed? (having been older than like 4)  Well, I have. On a miserable, hard training camp day…they snuck in our rooms before we got home, drenched our beds in water, caked that in ice, then covered the mess with our pillows.  Your sheets – soaked, pillows – soaked, mattress – soaked…the floor – linoleum, your body – horribly tired.  So, you suck it up – have no other options – and sleep in the cold, wet bed…for tomorrow is another training camp day.”

…to be continued in: The darkest days of training camp