What was I doing last night – oh nothin much, just cheering on my most hated enemy, the manifestation of all evil as I know it…the Utes!! A Dirty, Nasty, but nonetheless Necessary evil.

Thanks to a stumble in Fort Worth (that was a ROUGH Thursday night at Applebee’s in Clifton, NJ – the waitresses thought I was gonna explode) – we were knocked out of the drivers seat in regards to our goals of a Conference Championship and January bowl bid.  BUT, as I told some of the guys in Provo after that game – we were still on the bus.  Well, thanks to our friendly foes, this time clad in black, to the north – we are back in the driver’s seat…controllers of our own destiny.  What more can you ask for – November 22nd will be for all the marbles!!

A couple answers to questions:

Ralph, on October 10th, 2008 at 9:01 am Said:
Quinn,
Could you get Brian to comment on Giants GM Jerry Reese?

Ralph, I absolutely love Jerry Reese.  He is a very hands on GM, and it has paid off for all to see – one of the best Super Bowl victories ever last year, and a possible defense in the big show again this year.  Talking to some of the veterans on the team who have been in 4 or 5 other organizations – they say the Giants are hugely unique in the depth we have at EACH position (i.e., how many teams can say that their Quarterback AND backup QB are both 1st overall draft picks – plus one of the NFL’s best O Lines to protect the investments at Quarterback) and that is largely due to the wisdom of Reese in how he built this team and the guys he went after.  He is a great person, a great GM – and I think there are only good things to come with him in that position.

Allan, on October 10th, 2008 at 10:03 pm Said:
Bryan is the kind of quality person any young lady would be proud to bring home to meet her parents!

As it stands, Bryan has been dating a senior BYU cheer leader. She’s barely 5 feet tall.

Now, if I were the physical specimen that he is…I would want to marry volleyball, basketball or track star.

Bryan, we want to see 4 or 5 son’s of Bryan Kehl playing Cougar football in the future, not gymnasts!

You are the best!

Allan, I really appreciate your kind words and support.  I too hope to see 4 or 5 of my kids playing in Cougar Blue.
PS That cheerleader wants you to know she’s 5′4″  ”

Adam, on September 17th, 2008 at 9:56 am Said:
Quinn- this is awesome stuff. Thanks for getting Bryan to do this. And tell him we could have used a few more sacks out of him last year.

Adam, I couldn’t agree with you more!!! One of my greatest frustrations was in regards to pressure on the quarterback – and I would bug our coaches almost weekly that they should blitz me more.  But, it was to no avail…my lot was primarily to help in pass coverage, and so that’s what I dutifully did.  In an average game of 65 defensive snaps I usually rushed the quarterback on only about 10 of those (I would keep track) – how I would have loved to have been able to rush 35, 45, or 55 times!! (Obviously, not all 65 of those were passing plays – but in our conference, the majority were)

West, on September 24th, 2008 at 6:25 pm Said:
Oh so so sad! But now I gotta know what you sang, if they wouldn’t let you sing the fight song. What did you sing Kehl? What did you sing?! We gotta know.

This was given in response to my telling of how rookies are forced to stand and sing before meetings, repeatedly, while at training camp.  Anyway, I had to sing several times, and although the easy choice would be something along the lines of “Choose the Right” or “Popcorn popping on the Apricot Tree” I instead went with pop culture – here are the songs I can recall: Alicia Keys “If I aint got you”, The Temptations “Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch”, Boys II Men “I’ll make love to you” (probably the funniest of them all, due to the title of the song and the frightening fact that Jon Goff, the other rookie linebacker, and I sang it together…like a duet – oh, the pain!!)

bagotricks, on October 1st, 2008 at 10:10 am Said:
Kehl,

Thanks for taking the time to write a little for all of us who drink heavily from what you stand for.
I don’t want to sound preachy myself, but how do you make it to church? Are you able to have a calling with your nfl schedule?
I’m not around what you are, and I think for all of us keeping ourselves in the path of light and growth can be difficult at times. What do you do to keep your spirit strong?

Honestly, and perhaps to some very visibly, that is the hardest part about playing this level of football.  I already wrote about why I play the game, and why I chose to keep playing at this level – so check out those entries for more on that subject.  As for making it to church – doesn’t happen near as much as I’d like to.  I was able to go every week until the season started – but since there’s only been 3 times that I got to go.  However, coming up we do have some primetime games, so I am looking forward to those days as I should be able to slip away and attend in the morning.  I currently don’t have a calling, but I told the missionaries on Monday that if they don’t call me to go out teaching with them I will be ticked!!  My weekends are very busy, but my weeknights after work are pretty free.  In order to keep my spirit strong I try to stay away from the bad parts of the NFL and some of its players, and stay close to the good.  The team chaplain holds a bible study every Wednesday after practice and meetings that I attend, and we also have a devotional type meeting called “Chapel” every Saturday night in the hotel wherein either the chaplain or someone he invites gives a message (these can be both very odd and boring or very spiritual and very motivating).  Also, I told our community events coordinator to schedule me for every service opportunity they are involved with, and so that is always a nice chance to both give back and consequently be filled as most weeks we have a service event of some kind.  At any rate, in my time out here in the treacherous work-place I have found added support for my long-held belief that to ‘stay strong’ – “Search, Ponder, and Pray” works pretty well.  Don’t get me wrong – it is very hard, I feel very alone (only LDS player on the team), and, like I said, I question whether it’s worth it many days.  But, at the end of the day – all we can do is ‘fight the good fight’.

“The greater purpose…

A bit over a week into camp we had the opportunity to see an early screening of a football movie that wasn’t due out for another 2 months.  It came on one of our rare half days (a momentous occasion wherein we only had meetings, practice and football half the day) so it presented a bit of a dilemma – go to the theater and watch this movie which may or may not be cheesy (it sounded cheesy and cheaply made), using up several hours of precious free time, or do something else, i.e., rest, study, talk to people at home, did I mention rest?  At any rate, there were only 20 to 30 of the 80 players at camp that ventured over to the theater for the viewing of “The Express.”

Sometimes the most profound epiphanies come in the most unexpected places.  I walked into the movie expecting to relax for a few hours.  I walked out with a vision.  In all, it was a good movie.  But it had a great message – an awe-inspiring message.  This true story shows how Ernie Davis overcame the odds and obstacles to change the way people in his day thought – and he influenced the lives of many people.  I won’t spoil the movie – but at the very end he is giving advice to a young man who, like himself, has incredible football ability and potential.  His simple words shook me –

“Football is just a game…what matters is what you play for.”

Sometimes the greatest wisdom, the messages we most need to hear are simple reminders of what we already know.  Football is just a game…but at BYU I learned that what you play for determines whether it remains just a game – a violent contest of men throwing their bodies into each other – or whether it transforms into a banner of hope and honor and courage.

I was reminded on that special half day that I knew better, had been taught more, and was going to play from a deeper place.  I looked for the closest opportunity to apply what I had learned, apply what I had already known – and it wasn’t far. The New York Giants training camp is renowned for it’s presence of fans at each and every practice.  On average, more than 2000 fans attend each humid day in Albany.  If you recall from before, I told how one rookie duty was the carrying of veteran helmets and shoulder pads off the practice field each day.  I explained how carrying up to 4 sets of pads and helmets was the last thing you wanted to do after being beaten and abused for 2 hours in the humid sun in an NFL training camp practice.  The second to last thing you wanted to do is stop along the way and sign autographs.  Not that you don’t appreciate the fans, or their support – you love both.  But you are tired, your hands are full, and you only have so many minutes to undress, ice, shower, and eat before the next meeting starts (In fact I was once late on account of signing too many autographs).  Most players sign none, or only a few, before heading into the locker room to maximize the short amount of free time we have each day.  I decided to sign for everyone that asked.  Nothing spectacular, but it seemed an easy enough way to push forward that Banner I’d been taught to carry.  Funny thing is I always got more out of it than I put in.  I left practice each day physically, mentally and emotionally drained.  But every day, 5 minutes into signing, and especially talking and interacting with the people, I soon found my spirits lifted, my mood changed, and I had forgotten, at least for a while, about the rigors of practice that day.

There are countless experiences I could relate about the literally hours I spent trying to, in a small way, give back to the people who came to watch us at training camp.  But I’ll show you the one that definitely touched me the most.  When camp ended and we got back to Giants stadium, there were several letters in my locker.  I’ve attached one I received from Kevin Corcoran as well as the picture he sent.  I do this not to beat the drum of Bryan Kehl – but to beat the drum of BYU, the drum of Tradition…Spirit…Honor, the drum of why I play the game:

Dear Bryan,

My wife wanted to know how I could tell you were a rookie and I pointed out that you were carrying two other players’ gear off the practice field.  It happens at every level of the game.  To me what really stuck out is that by far, you signed more autographs than any other player even with all the extra equipment.  It seemed that you walked slow enough to sign every football, hat, program or scrap of paper that the kids put in front of you.  I told my wife you were the picture we needed to have for our son Eddie.  I imagine you’re a good football player but as a person, I imagine you’re better.

Eddie is 3 years old and in March 2007 he was diagnosed with Leukemia.  As they did more looking into the type of Leukemia he suffered from, his chance of survival at one point was 30%.  Since that time he has undergone numerous operations, countless treatments, all kinds of radiation, plenty of chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant along with a five month relocation to Boston to be near the best doctors we could find.  Although we still have a very long way to go, the spot we are at on the path to recovery is a positive one.

I tell you this because you didn’t know his story when you took the picture.  You readily agreed to pose and smiled as if it were a family photo (too bad Eddie closed his eyes).  The picture was not taken out of sympathy for a little boy but just to make a kid happy.  I had the feeling you would have stayed and taken more had it not been for more kids needing more autographs.

He may not remember the day as he is too young now but when we tell him the stories of it, he’ll be reminded of who his favorite Giant is.  That moment of your time is all it took.

Sincerely,
Kevin Corcoran

I’ve been playing football since I was 8, and it was always my dream to play for ever.  Playing in the NFL is literally a ‘dream come true’, and it is soooo cool to play this game and have it be my job.  BUT…I don’t play for the money and I don’t play for the fame.  I was given football – so I’m going to try to use football to give back.  And so – I play for my family, my brothers on the team, my coaches and the fans….but most of all – I still play for that Y, that Banner of hope and honor and courage…most of all, I play for kids like Eddie.”

The day after…

“It’s a long story why, but I decided to interrupt recounting ‘why I play the game’ and give briefly ‘the day after a game of an NFL player.’  I will return to training camp and what I found there next week.

In all, an NFL week isn’t all that different than a week of college football…it’s just bigger, longer, and more thorough.  It’s a weekly cycle in which we try to peak physically and very importantly mentally for the game on Sunday.  In college there are time restrictions enforced by the NCAA – teams are limited to 20 hours Monday through Thursday…20 hours of meetings, practice, lifting, etc.  No such restriction in the league.

Monday is usually the day after the game and starts at 8:30 if you’re a rookie (note: at BYU we had the blessing of having the day after a game – Sunday – completely off from football, for obvious reasons).  That doesn’t seem early (which it really isn’t) but after a football game, especially at this level, your body really just doesn’t want to get up that next day.  I remember the first ‘day after’ a game of high school football – my body felt like I had been jumped and battered by about a dozen guys (11 to be exact).  That great feeling swelled larger in college, and now larger still in the NFL.  It looks like a physical game…and it feels like a riot. 

Anyway, the running and lifting starts at 8:30.  It’s not really all that intense, but it’s always interesting to go in there and see which of your body parts still work, which joints still function, and which muscles feel punctured – every week it’s a new surprise.  When you look in the mirror there are a myriad of bruises, blemishes, cuts, scrapes and wounds you seriously didn’t even know about.  And so you struggle through the run and lift, not because it’s hard but because your body is kinda like a plane with a few engines out. 

After the lift we have about an hour or so for lunch.  The food is pretty good, but as you can imagine, it gets a bit old after about 2 weeks.  But, it’s the same food every day, every week, all year.  The special teams meeting comes next and lasts 30 minutes.  This can be pleasure or pain – all depending on how you did the day before.  Make a good tackle – you and every guy on the team gets to see it.  Get knocked on your can – you and every guy on the team gets to see it.  Over, and over, and over again, accompanied by the special teams coordinator telling you in ‘choice’ words what he feels about your play.  Fortunately, I’ve been blessed to experience both the good and the bad of these meetings.  It’s a simple formula really – ball out and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy the meeting (easier said than done at this level of the game – I’ve probably been knocked down more times already in the 5 regular season and 4 preseason games I’ve played in here than all 50 I played in at BYU). 

Next comes a team meeting wherein the head coach tells the team, in ‘choice’ words, what he thought about the game, displaying various stats and figures to support his opinion.  Then we separate to Defense and Offense and watch parts of the film before separating again to position groups to watch the game in full.  Every play is reviewed, critiqued, analyzed and evaluated – good and mostly the bad.  Good plays are usually watched once – bad plays usually 5 -10 times (if you get blown up, or knocked down, the coach will usually stop the film at that exact point, so he can go back and forth over it several times). 

After this fun video session, the team takes the field for “corrections.” This is a run-through in jerseys and helmets wherein the plays executed poorly offensively are re-run – giving those players a chance to physically see and ‘correct’ those errors.  Defensively, the show team offense (comprised of back-up defensive players) runs through the plays we didn’t defend correctly so we can physically see and ‘correct’ our fits and assignments.  This lasts about 30 minutes and is the last commitment of the day, if you’re a veteran.  If you’re rookie, you get another hour-long meeting called ‘Player Development” – a lengthy weekly meeting wherein you are taught things I honestly learned in like kindergarten, but NFL players country wide seem to not know and or understand (just check the papers or Sportscenter each day and you’ll know what I mean).  After this, the day ends, about 3:00 – and it’s time to go home, rest, recoup, recover, and try to figure out how to get your limbs to move again.”

“Why I play the game…

I’ve been asked that question countless times throughout my life, and for the most part, the response has been the same – “Why did you chose football?” would be asked, “I think football chose me” would be my reply.  From the earliest age I just had this inner urge to chase things and tackle them: pillows, people, dogs, you name it.  It didn’t hurt that I had 4 older brothers either, or that at a young age they used me as a tackling dummy.  Consequently, my body became both used to and dependent on good ol’ fashioned physicality.  When I learned there was actually a game that embodied this lifestyle – man, my life was set! I started playing organized tackle football when I was 8, and it’s been a fast climb to the top ever since that first day as a gremlin.  Middle school, high school, and even in college – my love for and dependence on the game just grew and grew. Although, in high school, and greatly more so at BYU, I began to play from a different place; motivated by a different cause.  Early on, we just wanted to win…wanted to win because losing sucks.  Later though, winning started to stand for so much more.  At Brighton, I had school pride, I grew up a Bengal fan, I knew the tradition, I was pumped every time I came out of that tunnel, music of “Welcome to the Jungle” blaring in the cool Friday night air – something I wanted to do as I had grown up watching my brothers do the same.  Every day I practiced and played the game with the same guys I had been best friends with since 1^st grade – and we played for each other more than we did for ourselves.  We wanted to win – because we didn’t want to let our buddy down, or the guy that came before us, or would come after us.  Then I got to BYU…and everything changed.

Bronco had taken a game we loved, a battle we grew up on – and transformed it into perhaps (don’t miss the perhaps) the greatest Banner of BYU.  I say Banner, because that is what we are, or what we try to be.  Yeah, we want to win because losing still sucks.  But at BYU, there is so much more.  We want to win, but more than that – we just want to play well…more than that – we want to play our best…and then, winning will usually follow.  At BYU, I played for my family, for my brothers on my team, my coaches, for the fans…but most of all – I played for that Y on my helmet.  Man, I sit here and get goose bumps just thinking about that Y…what it stands for…and most of all, how truly honored I felt to carry it to battle every Saturday in the fall – and more importantly, every day of my life.  Tradition…Spirit…Honor…those aren’t just catchy phrase words, or some gimmick Bronco came up with to get people excited about some football team.  It’s a way of life…football just happens to be what we are good at, and how we try to contribute to the Banner of that much greater message.

Like I said, the NFL is so very very different, for me at least.  I struggled in Mini camp and I struggled in training camp. For the NFL, the Giants have good team chemistry, which is why they did what they did last year in the playoffs, and played one of the greatest Super Bowls ever.  Being with those same players, those same champions, and that winning effort was really cool.  I still remember walking out to practice the very first time at training camp and thinking – “Wow, these are the defending champs, and I’m right here with em.” (that feeling of awe soon ended, as I was cussed at and told to hurry up and get in line to stretch)  Amid the fulfillment of making it to the NFL, the champs at that – I felt alone then, and I still feel alone today, on October 8^th.  I have never been one to quit – but there were several days in camp that found me asking myself if this was really worth it.  Yeah, the money is great – but it isn’t worth being cussed at daily, it isn’t worth being surrounded by debauchery, overwhelmed by vulgarity and immorality, and it certainly isn’t worth missing church so many Sundays.  If I was going to keep doing this – I desperately had to find that greater purpose, that banner in the sky to maintain, uphold, and battle so very hard to represent and play for.  Ironic enough, it was right there in Albany at training camp that I found it.”

The greater purpose…

…to be continued

“If the NFL Scouting Combine is a ‘wretched place’, then I guess training camp is a horrid place.  I don’t know, maybe its not that bad – but it certainly does make for a better story.

Anyway, I arrived in Albany, NY for training camp on Wednesday, July 23^rd, the day before we had to report.  I had heard so much about ‘camp’ I actually didn’t really know what to expect – some guys said, “it’ll be the worst month of your life,” while others claimed, ‘ah, it’s not that bad.’  I was very excited though, I mean this is it…the N – F – L…the New York Giants, the Super Bowl Champs!! How could you not be pumped?

So I checked into my luxury dorm room – where I’d be sharing a cubicle with a fellow player (i.e., Neanderthal) and 1 bathroom for 5 guys (i.e., cavemen).  Needless to say, I remember walking in my box of a room, looking at my mat of a bed and thinking ‘I have to sleep in that for 4 weeks? This is worse than the mission!!’  No, really though – you’re gonna take Million-dollar bodies, some multi-million, and put them in $50 mattresses…for 4 weeks…the 4 most physically tolling and grueling weeks of their year!?!.  I know, I know – it doesn’t make sense, right? Not unless you’re an NFL head coach, or a GM – ‘we gotta toughen these guys up…they gotta come together at camp…make em appreciate how nice they have it…Team First!’  Yeah, well I’m all for that jazz – but isn’t there a Marriot down the street…or at least a Motel 6?!

[note of interest: Everyone stays in these same dorm rooms: All the players (even Eli), the trainers, equipment personnel, coaches…everybody but 2 people (who I hope aren’t reading this blog, if you are – sorry)…the head coach, and the GM…umm yeah – they’re at that Marriot down the street…anyway, can ya blame em?]

A typical training camp day is just like that Rookie camp I explained before – only this lasts for 4 weeks.  Wake up between 6:30 and 7:00, meetings and practice seriously ALL day, some days have a 2 hour break there in the middle, but always get out of your last meeting at 9:30 at night – just in time to go home, call family or friends if you can, study your play book for the next day’s installment, and go to sleep and start over again.  Yeah, it gets really repetitive after about…oh, say 4 or 5 days.  It lasts for 4 weeks.  Oh, and in case you forgot – you body feels like death, you’re sleeping on cardboard (wet cardboard if you’re a rookie – I’ll explain later), you’re roommate probably snores, and you’ve seen outhouses more sanitary than your bathroom.

Now to the rookies.  In this regard, I really can’t complain – I’ve heard of far worse than we got.  But I’ll still complain a little bit.  Basically, the vets got hazed their rookie year, it pissed them off, so now they feel it their “duty” to keep the “tradition” going on.  Anyway, here are some things the Giants do: rookies carry the Veterans pads and helmets off the practice field.  This may not seem like much – but trust me, when you just got hammered in a 2-hour NFL practice, it’s 85 degrees with 80% humidity, your body is beat and tired – the last thing you want to do is carry 3 helmets and shoulder pads off the field.  But you do it anyway – cuz if you don’t – trust me, something worse will happen (involving the cold tub and tape…or your car keys, and your car not being where it was when you parked it…or etc, etc).  Rookies have to sing at all the meetings.  So about 8 minutes before each meeting starts (you arrive 10 minutes early – cuz if you arrive on time, you’re already late – and you get fined $1600) the veterans start tapping their cups, pick out a poor, timid, helpless rookie, and start chanting his name.  That rookie must stand on his chair, state his name, school and signing bonus (to which they always whistle and ‘oooh’ – whether its “4 mil”, or “14 thousand”), then sing, loud and clear, a song of their choice, but not their school fight song (a couple of us tried that in Mini Camp in May – ended up with completely purple hands and feet for 5 days).  Now, at this point you might think to shirk, back down, or refuse…but then you run the risk of being dyed purple…that and all 6’4” 268 pounds of RB Brandon Jacobs stands up and with his deepest, most intimidating brute of a voice I’ve ever heard starts chanting ‘cold tub, cold tub, cold tub.’  Then 280 pounds of DE Justin Tuck yells ‘oh, you gonna get involved!!’  So you sing…you sound absolutely terrible, but you sing, you get it over with, for today at least, and you sit down…and hope they don’t boo, and chant “cold tub” yet again.  So this occurs several times a day – and the worse the singer, the more they get requested to sing.  Here’s another rookie haze: have you ever slept in a wet bed? (having been older than like 4)  Well, I have. On a miserable, hard training camp day…they snuck in our rooms before we got home, drenched our beds in water, caked that in ice, then covered the mess with our pillows.  Your sheets – soaked, pillows – soaked, mattress – soaked…the floor – linoleum, your body – horribly tired.  So, you suck it up – have no other options – and sleep in the cold, wet bed…for tomorrow is another training camp day.”

…to be continued in: The darkest days of training camp

Every Wednesday, former Cougar great and current New York Giant Linebacker, Bryan Kehl will be giving us the inside scoop on what it’s like to play in the NFL.  I thought because you all liked hearing about my BYU football experience, you might also like to hear what it’s like at the next level.  Bryan was a great college player and I have no doubt he’ll bust into the starting line-up for the Giants very soon.  Enjoy…

“Where to begin?  I guess I’ll start by giving a brief re-cap of this year (good golly, it’s gone fast)

Seems like yesterday I was standing in the lobby of the Planet Hollywood Hotel in Vegas – about 1:00 in the morning, Dec. 22nd – still trying to recover from our crazy win over UCLA.  I’d narrowed down and chosen my agent, and he met me real quick in the lobby to congratulate me on the win and thank me for choosing him.

I had a week to relax, then I was off to sunny SoCal the 1st of January to train for the combine in late February (the Combine – I’d get into talking about that wretched place, but I’m not trying to write a book).  Anyway, I spent 2 months in Cal, training twice a day, eating (being fed) 6 times a day, gained 10 pounds, and performed very well at the combine. Then I moved home to get ready for pro day in mid-March, kept training, actually got to sleep the night before pro day, and consequently performed even better in every category – including shaving more than a tenth off my 40 (4.68 at combine vs. 4.56 on pro day).

Then came the slowest part of my bleak existence – the waiting game ‘til draft day, followed by the day (days) itself – perhaps the slowest day EVER!!! Time crawled, stars passed away, the great green Earth came to a standstill…okay, not really, but it seemed like it.  Anyway, I got the call Sunday morning, about 3 minutes before my name came up on the TV.  It was all so surreal – the moment is sort of a blur in my mind as I look back…my reaction, my family’s cheers, the words of the scout and Coach Coughlin on the phone, the implications of moving to New York…alone – crazy!!

Spent the weekend of May 8-11th being introduced to the rigors of the NFL at rookie camp – bus picked us up from the hotel around 7 in the a.m.…hold tight, cuz you wont see that hotel, or more importantly, that bed, again ‘til about 9:30 that night.  Yup, in the facility the WHOLE day – like 14 hours!! Meetings, practice, meetings, practice, meetings…sleep…start over, meetings, practice….must have been 2 weeks crammed into 3 days.

I got to go home for a couple days – then back out to the Meadowlands May 15th for training, OTA’s and Mini camp – to live in a hotel, the La Quinta Inn (hey, I thought we’re in the NFL…aren’t these the Super Bowl champs!?!) for 6 weeks ‘til June 24th. And yes, if you were wondering – living in a hotel sucks!!

June 24th finally came, I said my goodbyes to my lovely 5th floor hotel suite and headed home for a month and much needed rest before reporting to training camp July 24th.

July 24th – training camp…

….to be continued.”